The Focker house in Meet the Fockers is actually the Queen Anne Cottage located at the Los Angeles County Arboretum in Arcadia, California (did you get all that?). My friend Robin and I visited the location in June 2004 (to explore the botanical gardens only- honest). Who knew by coincidence that they were filming a Barbra Streisand film at the time? What luck!
Just ignore the part about no access to the Focker house. We did.